You know you're not in too good a spot when you're sitting up 'till all hours of the morning with the sole hope and will that your team doesn't become the lowest scoring first inning total in a test at any given cricket ground, and that they manage to scrape past the 84 runs scored by South Africa against England in 1889.
I'm pretty sure I'm the only person in New Zealand still watching this test. I'm well aware that something like 5 million South Africans now live on the North Shore of Auckland, but I'm pretty sure even they're preferring to sleep rather than watching this sporting theatrical performance of "Steamroller v Roadkill". That's right, the NZ performance more closely resembles the possum facing up to the steamroller AFTER the two moons have done their job.
I'm a tolerant sort of dude. You won't see me writing knee jerk "sack the lot of 'em" type posts. I make sure my knee is well and truly analysed, x-ray'd, electromagnetically imaged, massaged and elevated on the back of some student looking for holiday spending money before I make my "sack the lot of 'em" posts.
But, by God, it's been a tough tour to watch.
I struggle to get too upset about results in the short forms of the game - I tend to be in the camp that only test results have any real long term credibility (outside of World Cup events). Which is a bugger really, when NZ are being left behind in the test game. It was only 12 months ago I remember getting sucked in to the notion that the New Zealand Men's Cricket Team were on the verge of a golden age. I got close to that most fatal of afflications, belief. We'd beaten Australia in a test in Hobart on the back of a young fast bowling attack. We had a number of strong, developing batsmen who looked like they would form the vanguard of a side that could and would be competitive. We had a team. What in the name of all that are far too high GI foods happened?
Well, we've gotten past 84 (for 9 wickets), so that's, literally, the very least.
Okay. Facts are we're playing the number one Test side in the world. At their home. They have guys who average more than 50. When they BAT. And they have LOTS OF THEM.
They have fast bowlers that can bowl. Fast. Part time spinners that can actually turn the ball. They're damn near cheating.
We've gone through a change in management structure. Our coach changed (replacing one who had a pretty decent pedigree coaching one of the great batting sides in history) and his coaching/management team with it. We managed to pick up a test win away - something to be celebrated, but all that marred by what appears to be a botched implementation of the new coaches philosophy through appointing Brendon "Tats on your guns rock" McCullum as the captain.
As much as it hurts, I suspect the best approach has to be suck it up kiwi cricket fans, and let the NZ cricket board and coaching structures get their house in order. Give them a free pass for the nightmare they've dished up in the last couple of months. Let them learn.
The test side will be a different beast when you re-introduce Ross Taylors 43.57 batting average - his contribution will help lift those around him. Bring Tim Southee and his newly bionic thumb (they've made it iPod compatible) into the attack in place of Neil Wagner / Nargle Gagner. We'll still put up mixed results, but mixed results will be an improvement when balanced against the consistent results of this current tour. I'm almost completely certain Dean Brownlie is not going to save our test team on anything like a regular basis. And if anyone could learn to actually turn a ball when bowling at less than 100km/hr, please apply in writing to John.Buchanan@nzcricket.co.nz.
There is hope. And to be honest, that's about all there is.
Sunday 13 January 2013
So.... sport, eh?
Right. So. Well. Right-e-ho. Sport, eh?
There are those that follow sports teams. There are those that LOVE their sports teams. There are those that are aware of this sport thing, and that it generally leads to far to much noise from people enjoying themselves. There are those that claim to be sports fans, but can do nothing but complain about almost every form of sport (and I'm talking about the likes of you, Tony Veitch - you who took away one of my great loves in life - ie listening to sport radio - by being generally the least sports loving sports radio host in the known multiverse (and for the purposes of this blog post, the known multiverse = Radio Sports breakfast show)).
Then there is me. I'm the luckiest bugger I know, because my wife is about as big a sports tragic as I am (yes chaps, it does exist, it is out there and you're shit out of luck because I got there first). I can be about as fair weather a sports fan as there is, I can be blase about various sports / games / matches / events as the next guy. But I'm also a romantic. I can watch through all the tosh, drivel, long hours of 'stab yourself in the eyes because it takes away the pain of watching the next five minutes of this travesty' because I know that life defining moments can happen any moment.
Okay, waffling now (this *may* not be the last time :/), back on course. In the interests of full disclosure of the deeply embedded (or otherwise) levels of bias I will from time to time display, here is what and who I follow, along with a brief (I promise (you'll learn I LOVE the parenthetical intervention)) blurb about my history with said sports/teams:
Waikato Rugby Team (Rugby)
My first love. My second deepest passion. Maybe it was the fact Waikato rugby were languishing in the second division when first I was taken to a match by my father. Maybe it was the fact they lost that match. Maybe it was the fact I was young and impressionable. Maybe it's just the simple fact they're AWESOME. In any case, I'm a confirmed rugby tragic, and the Waikato rugby team has given me most of my most memorable sporting highlights to date. GO MOOLOO!
All Blacks (Rugby)
Hey, I'm a New Zealand born male. LDO. 1987. 2011, 2015, 2019 (we're going, watch out Nihon!). One of the great sporting records in one of the bigger international team sports, the pride of the country. Enough said. GO ABS!!!
Chiefs (Rugby)
It's taken me awhile to really come around to the Super Rugby competition. Sure, I've always followed it, I've always supported the Chiefs as the team centered in the Waikato. I've always described myself as a Waikato rugby fan and a Chiefs supporter. Whilst my juices still don't quite boil in the way they do when watching Waikato play, given Super Rugby's place in New Zealand rugby landscape, more and more I can say I'm a Chiefs man. It's January, the end of February means rugby is on! GO CHIEFS!
Pakuranga United Rugby Club (Rugby)
One of the weirdest moments in my sporting life was the first time I cheered for my PURC U85kg team as I stood on the sidelines with my snapped wrist. The first time I'd cheered for an Auckland rugby team, and a serious personal growth moment for moi. I've been coaching junior rugby at the club for a couple of years now, and the PURC senior team are forming a part of my live sport watching calendar. GO THE RANGA!
New York Yankees (Baseball)
My newest and one of my strongest sporting passions. To many baseball fans, they're the evil empire (on a par with Manchester United in football, Manly Sea Eagles in rugby league and any sporting team coming out of Auckland). To me, they're the only MLB team I've ever seen play at home (v my second favorite team, the Cleveland Indians), they're the team I knew about growing up (even if back then it wasn't really a proper sport), and they're based in one of the coolest cities on the planet. Oh, and they're not the Mets (jokes, jokes, calm down you poor, poor Mets fans). The spring training schedule kicks off 24 February, and the real deal kicks off against the auld enemy, the Boston Red Socks on April 1 at the New Yankee Stadium. Bring it on! THEEEEE YAAANKEEEEESSS WINNNN!!! GO YANKS!
Howick-Pakuranga Baseball Club (Baseball)
My team. Game one of the Summer season was today. I got sun burnt so I bailed before the second head of the double header today (and therefore didn't get rained on - go Auckland weather)). I want Baseball to become THE summer sport of choice for kids under the age of 11 in the next five years, so there is a real chance you'll be hearing more about this team in this blog. HP BASEBALL RULES!!! (obligatory sports team name/brand to come soon). I'm currently on the committee, I coach at the under 8 T Ball level, I have big dreams for the sport. HP BASEBALL RUUULLLLZZZZ!!!
God, I've only just started - bugger it, if you're going to do something, do it properly...
New Zealand Men's Cricket Team (BlackCaps) / Northern Distcits (Cricket)
In order to reduce the number of entries here, I'll lump my two cricket passions into one. Cricket for years has been my number two passion (only recently facing the challenge of the usurper, Baseball). I grew up as an absolute cricket tragic. I watched (almost) every ball of every test New Zealand has played for the best part of my life up until the age of... say 25. Life got in the road after that, but I still considered myself a major cricket fan up until the last year or so. Test cricket has supplied some of the biggest highs I've ever experienced as a sports fan. Nothing, and I mean nothing, can compare to the emotion a hard fort, gritty and damn near miraculous a win for a New Zealand cricket team evokes. It also has to be one of THE great sporting pleasures, watching a days test cricket at Seddon Park in Hamilton. I'm very much looking forward to another such day in the near future. GO KIWI, GO ND!
Okay, it speeds up from here, trust me. Ish.
New Zealand Breakers / Miami Heat (Basketball)
The Breakers in the Australian based ANBL (despite being a party to the stupid, STUPID practice of being labelled a New Zealand team despite patently being an Auckland team - a victim of marketing bollocks). Always a good night out, I'm definitely going to a regular season game at the Vector Arena before the current ANBL season concludes. C'MON THE BREAKERS!!!
The Miami Heat are my current team (I'm a bit of a nomad in terms of NBL team support). I'm following the Heat because I can't not support a team with Le Bron, Wade and Bosh. Hanging out for the repeat championship. GO HEAT!
New Zealand Warriors (Rubgy League)
I've never been the biggest rugby league fan, but being married to a HUGE rugby league / Warriors fan, it makes it pretty easy to be a Warriors supporter. Watching the Warriors, on the other hand, makes it pretty hard to be a Warriors supporter. Another roller coaster is preparing to leave the boarding platform shortly. GO THE WARRIORS!!!
Wellington Pheonix (A League) / Liverpool (English Premier League) (Football)
I've followed Liverpool football since I was 8. I've followed the Nix since inception. Neither have really given too much to get excited about (outside of Liverpool nicking the odd European championship here and there over the last decade). Here's hoping the TwentyTeens are the decade of these teams forging legacies. I'm not holding my breath. C'MON YOU NIX!!!
Indianapolis Colts (NFL)
We're big fans of big sporting events round ours, and for a decade now we've been having a Superbowl party on Superbowl Monday (timezones FTW). I had to pick a team, and the Colts seemed to embody a lot of the things I look for in a sports team. And they have a pretty good record. Lets face it, I was never going to pick the Jets. The Colts are out after Andrew Luck pulled them back into the post season after a dreadful 2012 season. So for this year, lets just know that spicy chicken wings will be the winner on the day. GOOO COLTS!!!
Okay, epic post is epic. There are other teams, and other sports. But, let's face it, no one is reading through this. I consider this an arse covering post - if ever I get accused of bias I'll be pointing out yes, read this you muppet.
Manamana.
There are those that follow sports teams. There are those that LOVE their sports teams. There are those that are aware of this sport thing, and that it generally leads to far to much noise from people enjoying themselves. There are those that claim to be sports fans, but can do nothing but complain about almost every form of sport (and I'm talking about the likes of you, Tony Veitch - you who took away one of my great loves in life - ie listening to sport radio - by being generally the least sports loving sports radio host in the known multiverse (and for the purposes of this blog post, the known multiverse = Radio Sports breakfast show)).
Then there is me. I'm the luckiest bugger I know, because my wife is about as big a sports tragic as I am (yes chaps, it does exist, it is out there and you're shit out of luck because I got there first). I can be about as fair weather a sports fan as there is, I can be blase about various sports / games / matches / events as the next guy. But I'm also a romantic. I can watch through all the tosh, drivel, long hours of 'stab yourself in the eyes because it takes away the pain of watching the next five minutes of this travesty' because I know that life defining moments can happen any moment.
Okay, waffling now (this *may* not be the last time :/), back on course. In the interests of full disclosure of the deeply embedded (or otherwise) levels of bias I will from time to time display, here is what and who I follow, along with a brief (I promise (you'll learn I LOVE the parenthetical intervention)) blurb about my history with said sports/teams:
Waikato Rugby Team (Rugby)
My first love. My second deepest passion. Maybe it was the fact Waikato rugby were languishing in the second division when first I was taken to a match by my father. Maybe it was the fact they lost that match. Maybe it was the fact I was young and impressionable. Maybe it's just the simple fact they're AWESOME. In any case, I'm a confirmed rugby tragic, and the Waikato rugby team has given me most of my most memorable sporting highlights to date. GO MOOLOO!
All Blacks (Rugby)
Hey, I'm a New Zealand born male. LDO. 1987. 2011, 2015, 2019 (we're going, watch out Nihon!). One of the great sporting records in one of the bigger international team sports, the pride of the country. Enough said. GO ABS!!!
Chiefs (Rugby)
It's taken me awhile to really come around to the Super Rugby competition. Sure, I've always followed it, I've always supported the Chiefs as the team centered in the Waikato. I've always described myself as a Waikato rugby fan and a Chiefs supporter. Whilst my juices still don't quite boil in the way they do when watching Waikato play, given Super Rugby's place in New Zealand rugby landscape, more and more I can say I'm a Chiefs man. It's January, the end of February means rugby is on! GO CHIEFS!
Pakuranga United Rugby Club (Rugby)
One of the weirdest moments in my sporting life was the first time I cheered for my PURC U85kg team as I stood on the sidelines with my snapped wrist. The first time I'd cheered for an Auckland rugby team, and a serious personal growth moment for moi. I've been coaching junior rugby at the club for a couple of years now, and the PURC senior team are forming a part of my live sport watching calendar. GO THE RANGA!
New York Yankees (Baseball)
My newest and one of my strongest sporting passions. To many baseball fans, they're the evil empire (on a par with Manchester United in football, Manly Sea Eagles in rugby league and any sporting team coming out of Auckland). To me, they're the only MLB team I've ever seen play at home (v my second favorite team, the Cleveland Indians), they're the team I knew about growing up (even if back then it wasn't really a proper sport), and they're based in one of the coolest cities on the planet. Oh, and they're not the Mets (jokes, jokes, calm down you poor, poor Mets fans). The spring training schedule kicks off 24 February, and the real deal kicks off against the auld enemy, the Boston Red Socks on April 1 at the New Yankee Stadium. Bring it on! THEEEEE YAAANKEEEEESSS WINNNN!!! GO YANKS!
Howick-Pakuranga Baseball Club (Baseball)
My team. Game one of the Summer season was today. I got sun burnt so I bailed before the second head of the double header today (and therefore didn't get rained on - go Auckland weather)). I want Baseball to become THE summer sport of choice for kids under the age of 11 in the next five years, so there is a real chance you'll be hearing more about this team in this blog. HP BASEBALL RULES!!! (obligatory sports team name/brand to come soon). I'm currently on the committee, I coach at the under 8 T Ball level, I have big dreams for the sport. HP BASEBALL RUUULLLLZZZZ!!!
God, I've only just started - bugger it, if you're going to do something, do it properly...
New Zealand Men's Cricket Team (BlackCaps) / Northern Distcits (Cricket)
In order to reduce the number of entries here, I'll lump my two cricket passions into one. Cricket for years has been my number two passion (only recently facing the challenge of the usurper, Baseball). I grew up as an absolute cricket tragic. I watched (almost) every ball of every test New Zealand has played for the best part of my life up until the age of... say 25. Life got in the road after that, but I still considered myself a major cricket fan up until the last year or so. Test cricket has supplied some of the biggest highs I've ever experienced as a sports fan. Nothing, and I mean nothing, can compare to the emotion a hard fort, gritty and damn near miraculous a win for a New Zealand cricket team evokes. It also has to be one of THE great sporting pleasures, watching a days test cricket at Seddon Park in Hamilton. I'm very much looking forward to another such day in the near future. GO KIWI, GO ND!
Okay, it speeds up from here, trust me. Ish.
New Zealand Breakers / Miami Heat (Basketball)
The Breakers in the Australian based ANBL (despite being a party to the stupid, STUPID practice of being labelled a New Zealand team despite patently being an Auckland team - a victim of marketing bollocks). Always a good night out, I'm definitely going to a regular season game at the Vector Arena before the current ANBL season concludes. C'MON THE BREAKERS!!!
The Miami Heat are my current team (I'm a bit of a nomad in terms of NBL team support). I'm following the Heat because I can't not support a team with Le Bron, Wade and Bosh. Hanging out for the repeat championship. GO HEAT!
New Zealand Warriors (Rubgy League)
I've never been the biggest rugby league fan, but being married to a HUGE rugby league / Warriors fan, it makes it pretty easy to be a Warriors supporter. Watching the Warriors, on the other hand, makes it pretty hard to be a Warriors supporter. Another roller coaster is preparing to leave the boarding platform shortly. GO THE WARRIORS!!!
Wellington Pheonix (A League) / Liverpool (English Premier League) (Football)
I've followed Liverpool football since I was 8. I've followed the Nix since inception. Neither have really given too much to get excited about (outside of Liverpool nicking the odd European championship here and there over the last decade). Here's hoping the TwentyTeens are the decade of these teams forging legacies. I'm not holding my breath. C'MON YOU NIX!!!
Indianapolis Colts (NFL)
We're big fans of big sporting events round ours, and for a decade now we've been having a Superbowl party on Superbowl Monday (timezones FTW). I had to pick a team, and the Colts seemed to embody a lot of the things I look for in a sports team. And they have a pretty good record. Lets face it, I was never going to pick the Jets. The Colts are out after Andrew Luck pulled them back into the post season after a dreadful 2012 season. So for this year, lets just know that spicy chicken wings will be the winner on the day. GOOO COLTS!!!
Okay, epic post is epic. There are other teams, and other sports. But, let's face it, no one is reading through this. I consider this an arse covering post - if ever I get accused of bias I'll be pointing out yes, read this you muppet.
Manamana.
Saturday 12 January 2013
Bring it!
Hi. My name is Paul and I am an armchair adrenaline junkie. It feels better to admit it after all these years, but as I'm not after any sort of redemption I'm not sure it helps in any important way.
To perhaps better define my newly coined status as an armchair adrenaline junkie, I'm a sports junkie, and I'm a tv / movie junkie. I'm not a junkie.... erm... junkie, so I guess I do have at least one slightly redeeming feature (at least in the opinion of many - none of whom are likely to be junkies). I love sport, I watch FAR too much sport, I have many opinions on sport (some of them may even be considered valid). I also love movies. I don't see as many as I'd like, but I do love them. And now in a fit of New Year Resolutionitis (tm) I've employed a forum to share my various views, epiphanies and musings upon these various and varied forms of entertainment.
As the year progresses I hope to share my views, musings and emotional travails as I follow my sporting teams and competitions and as my relatively limited range of movies come and go. In immanently appearing blog posts I shall further expound upon my various biases, loves, passions, despairs and outright loathings in both formats. Over the course of this blog, and given my predilection to waft off into completely irrelevant topics, there will be strange and unusual revelations, reviews and re... re... re-stuff on topics both near and far and in between.
Yours sweating in 27 degree heat and under the influence of Macs very drinkable 5% Hop Rocker Pilsner,
Paul.
To perhaps better define my newly coined status as an armchair adrenaline junkie, I'm a sports junkie, and I'm a tv / movie junkie. I'm not a junkie.... erm... junkie, so I guess I do have at least one slightly redeeming feature (at least in the opinion of many - none of whom are likely to be junkies). I love sport, I watch FAR too much sport, I have many opinions on sport (some of them may even be considered valid). I also love movies. I don't see as many as I'd like, but I do love them. And now in a fit of New Year Resolutionitis (tm) I've employed a forum to share my various views, epiphanies and musings upon these various and varied forms of entertainment.
As the year progresses I hope to share my views, musings and emotional travails as I follow my sporting teams and competitions and as my relatively limited range of movies come and go. In immanently appearing blog posts I shall further expound upon my various biases, loves, passions, despairs and outright loathings in both formats. Over the course of this blog, and given my predilection to waft off into completely irrelevant topics, there will be strange and unusual revelations, reviews and re... re... re-stuff on topics both near and far and in between.
Yours sweating in 27 degree heat and under the influence of Macs very drinkable 5% Hop Rocker Pilsner,
Paul.
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